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Date : Thursday, March 1, 2012
Time : 10:24 AM Title : Never ending test. I rather head down to school every single day & keep myself busy with piles of work, than to stay at home and kept silent with all these scapegoat situations. Astargfirrullah hal azim. Tabahkan hatiku,Ya Allah.
Date : Thursday, February 9, 2012
Time : 2:33 PM Title : Not my choice.  Sometimes, I just don't understand why. How I wish I could have ME time by the beach. If only I'm a person who dares to explore & just go wherever my feet brings me to. Am I making big fuss out of it? Or, is just something that I should close one eye. All these while, I got to sense that she really don't like me to be in school, to be studying, specifically. Since secondary school days. And, me being someone who loves to take up many commitments just contradicts her expectations. I really wonder why. Why am I restricted to so many things. And, of course, for things that are good for me, I'll just accept. But, for things that I know it'll benefit me but she don't see it that way, should I just keep quietly and let it us past just like that? This is exactly the reason why I become a person who do not stand up for myself even if I'm right because all I do for the past 20 years is to always give in. I have been at home, doing MP online, for like 3 days straight. I can really see the difference in her mood, as compared to me being in school and out till night, for just 1 day. I really wonder why. I don't want to do more sins. I don't want to lie again and again. Just that, when I tell her the truth, I'm always doubted, being thrown sarcasm at the end of the day & being scolded for no particular reason. I don't intend to lie, I just don't have a choice. At the end of the day, a lie makes things better, not the truth. How long will this continue? One day? When? I seriously wonder. Secret of the day: Smiles on my face are sometime just pretence.
Date : Monday, February 6, 2012
Time : 11:21 AM Title : Think Ahead  Coming towards the end of polytechnic life. Been thinking about how I want my future to be like. Plus, pressure from surrounding makes things more tense. What we plan may not be what we get. After all, kami hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan. So, I'm at the midst of applying for SIT-WLC Bachelor of Science in Early Childhood Education, 2- year Degree Programme. Plan A [If my Uni application is successful & PCF allow deferment of bond]: 2012 [July] to 2014 [July] - Age 22: Acquired a Degree in 'BSc in Early Childhood Education' 2014 [August] to 2016 [March] - At Age 24: Complete 1.5 years bond with PCF. 2016 to 2017 - At Age 25: Engaged? InsyaAllah. 2017 to 2019 - At Age 27: 26; Ideal age of Marriage. Latest 27. InsyaAllah. 2019 - onwards: InsyaAllah, jika dipanjangkan umur, continue career. Plan B [If Uni application is successful, but PCF disallow deferment of bond]: 2012 [May] to 2013 [Dec] - Age 22: Complete 1.5 years bond with PCF, by end of 2013. Continue working till July 2014 2014 [July] to 2016 [July] - At Age 24: Acquired a Degree in 'BSc in Early Childhood Education' 2016 to 2017 - At Age 25: Engaged? InsyaAllah. 2017 to 2019 - At Age 27: 26; Ideal age of Marriage. Latest 27. InsyaAllah. 2019 - onwards: InsyaAllah, jika dipanjangkan umur, continue career. Secret of day: 25? Earliest, though I'll still feel unprepared. All I do, I do it for you. Aslkan ibu happy.
Date : Friday, February 3, 2012
Time : 10:53 PM Title : Crisis  How to, when those sources of frustration & sadness just keep coming back? All I've been asking myself is "Why did I change? And, where's that old Izzati? What happen to her?" I've been getting frustrated & disappointed with myself for quite sometime because I can't seem to get back to my true self. All I know is I'm NOT being myself all these while. From today onward, I will find my TRUE SELF, that HAPPY-GO-LUCKY self, I used to be. Whatever it is, life is short so there're no point wasting those precious moments dwelling over those unhappiness. These might be one of the tests from Allah that I have to overcome. & Allah has all the reasons for it. InsyaAllah, with all these patience & strength I have, I'll overcome all these with a strong will in heart. Secret of the day: I cant thank them enough for always been by my side, without me realizing or not. Alhamdulillah (:
Date : Saturday, January 21, 2012
Time : 5:49 PM Title : Behind every smiles, there's sorrows.  This is indeed true. When I look at you, I just can feel it. I can see sadness in your eyes and the tears you're trying to hide. No doubt, I know you ain't happy as you are the last time. I'm very glad you've change for the better. I just hope that continues, though you did not get what you wanted. Frankly speaking, you just knock some sense in me, you're an inspiration to everyone out there. InsyaAllah, you'll continue to be the new you. I might be a stranger to you now but I'll continue to support the good things you'll gonna do in the future. So are your family & friends. InsyaAllah (: Secret of the day: You're a sweet guy. A romantic guy, indeed. I'll always pray that you'll meet the right one, in the future. InsyaAllah.
Date : Friday, December 23, 2011
Time : 2:59 PM Title : Faith in Him.  Have faith in Him, & everything becomes possible. Great weather, good times in Clarke Quay ytd with S & A. After so many years, finally we were there. Today, in the morning, heard a news that get me paranoid for a moment. Not that I wouldn't be paranoid, even for the slightest thing. But yea. Thank goodness for my group members. They are always the ones who give me lots of assurance that everything's gonna be fine. Alhamdulillah. Though I'm still worried about it, I hope no hiccups comes between us, again. InsyaAllah. Secret of the day: Feeling unappreciated & taken advantage of. Scapegoat, forever. When will all these stop? Or, will it even stop?
Date : Monday, December 19, 2011
Time : 3:27 PM Title : Love is all it takes.  Love is all it takes. Love is all I need. Love is all I could wish for. There's always reasons behind every single things that one does. "Tidur je...": Because that's the only time when all my feelings I kept to myself are finally free to roam around in my dreams. "Khayal je...": Because those were the hard times when I tried to pull every positive things I could think of to convince myself that all these are parts and parcels of life & I have to live it. Speaking up & ending up being blamed? Yes, indeed. "Tak penat ke, tenung computer tu je...": Because keeping myself busy are the simplest source of distractions. Thinking about all these unfortunate things I had to go through, keeping silence for the sake of everyone's happiness is the only choice I had. And, maybe distraction could be the other. Secret of the day: Wonder when will that dream ever come true? |
This Lady 
Nurul Izzati Bte Masam Simply, Izza. 19 this year '11. 16 Dec, her day Temasek Polytechnic, HSS Diploma in Psychology Studies with Specialization in Early Childhood Teaching (PSYECT) `I may deny it. You may wonder. But, all my secrets of the day are always the truth. `To the world, they might just be some normal people. But, to these normal people, they are my world. .Facebook. Twitter: @izzy_ish My Life Saviours. Family. ♥ Friends. ♥ Colleagues. ♥ Music
  Music Playlist at MixPod.com Memories November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 |