Trying to make others happy while I'm always in pain?

That's reality for me, for almost 19 years. Always in a lose- win situation. I know, Lye told me before, if this situation continues, it is going to be unhealthy for me. I've not told anyone, but myself that this is not going to change. Unless, I'm 21 years old? Is it true? We shall wait & see. & Oh ya, I shall share this, just for entertainment sake. A conversation between me & nenek:

Nenek: Besok kau sekolah?

Me: Tak.

Nenek: Alah, tak payah sekolah tinggi-tinggi. Terus kerja je.

Me: Tak nak ah. Adik nak jadi mahasiswa (Mcm paham ey? HAHA)

Nenek: Perempuan sampai bila nak belajar, nak kerja.

Me: Mana boleh gitu. Kena lah setaraf! Independent! (Mcm lah nenek tau meaning tu eh! HAHA)

Nenek: Buat apa? Belajar, lepas tu kerja. Dah kerja sekejap, KAHWIN! Bila dah kahwin, tak payah kerja lagi. Jaga suami.

Me: Lahhhh! Zaman dah berubah nek... (Somehow I feel that was coming! Now I know where my mum got all those marriage- related hints from! Waduhhhh!)

Sometimes, I feel guilty for blurting things out.

But, till when can I keep all these to myself? :(